07/11/2003 - 9:55 p.m. | what would you do then?

Everyday it's just a little harder for me to get moving. I'm OK once I get going, but to get up to speed is this terrible uphill battle. I don't know if listening to White Town in the shower helps or hinders this process, but I refuse to do it any other way. Left late and had to get gas so I was even later (on the plus side, I've already used over 1/4 of a tank - damn you inflexible goods!) I walk in and Snake King says, "Same thing as yesterday." Incredible. I feel it is my duty to argue. "Really? You know, I'm a much better welder than winder..." His reply: "Most people are." And then he goes on some insane tangent about equal opportunity or something and how everyone should have a chance to switch jobs. That's very noble of you, my reptillian nemesis, especially when the money isn't coming out of your pocket. When do I get a shot at your job, huh? Smash stuff with mallet, hassle Nate, etc. And I can't wait to be Tim for a day! Sit around, answer phone (sometimes), act useless in general. Anyway, I assume his reason is total bullshit, and this is all some sort of punishment for me (vain? oh yes) So, the only thing for me to do was to get monstrous at winding just like I had at welding. So I did. I finished 2 pallets today (no small feat) and made over $70, which is more than can probably be said of Travo and Doughboy together. I speed through the learning curve - especially now that I finally know what not to do. I have to work fast, but this will eventually be replaced by finesse and hopefully I will continue to make more. I swear I just topped the list at this task, too, though. Anger empowers me.

Actually, I think it was similar circumstances with welding, too. I was pissed off, so I worked hard at getting really good. And now I'm king. And I will be King Wind soon, if I'm not already. It was great revenge. Pulling panels off the racks like they always do to me, except much faster and more often. Yeah, fucker. That's what happens when you make an idiot weld and a powerhouse weld. Don't get on my bad side. I think the day passed by quicker than usual, as my sense of humor gets more and more irrevent. Besides the almost constant stream of Sean Connery impression, I started having conversations between the Rain God (???) and myself. His voice is just too good. I whistle a lot, mostly because it sounds perky and annoying. I'm a pretty good whistler in that aspect. If Harve tells me to put on safety glasses, I'm gonna ask him if he thinks I have pretty eyes. They think I'm quirky now? Try some of this shit on for size. Meanwhile, Travo wants to dye his hair. He's quite the punk rock hardcore goth something something. Or an idiot.

This morning I decided there was really no reason that I needed to wear a belt. That's right, people. I am that stupid. Gain 10 pounds, and it all goes to my head *rimshot* Gravity and I were at odds today, and the CD player wasn't helping. I kept sliding down my pant legs, which is not the least bit pleasant. Today I actually craved peanut butter. I was at the point where I didn't mind it all, but now I seem to want it. This is confusing because it goes against the stigma my rain has set up. It associates peanut butter with evil and death, and I really wanted some (not evil and death). But I had this candy bar - chocolate with peanut butter and the still very mysterious nougat - and it was just perfect! What have I been missing out on?

A: Social life. Shut up.

I guess I'm going into work tomorrow for a few hours. This is almost certainly going to require coffee because I just can't do it alone right now. I think I may sleep soon just for half a shot.

After work I drove home through the craziest weather yet! The rain was coming down so hard that I couldn't see the road! It was all sort of guess and check, which is never a good idea when driving. "Oh, the road curves there... Oops." And apparently I just missed the hail. Crazy weather, when will it end? Stopped at bank to put vast amounts of money into the vault then came home to read and nap.

From there, we took my wagon and visited my grandma and grandpa in Oglesby. They were in sort of a punchy mood tonight, which I think is pretty cool. My stupid second cousin got a girl pregnant; my dad and I find this hilarious. YOU ARE STUPID EVERYONE ALL OF YOU! From there, Red Lobster (for the seafood lover in me), where we had a discussion about why family isn't generally as important to me as it is to some. I guess it's a matter of earning my respect. I don't give it out automatically. I can be polite just fine, but for me to respect someone enough to act like myself takes something special. Blood alone doesn't do it for me. They have to be hand-picked sort of. I can see where family-oriented people come from, but I guess I've never been that way. I keep myself too closed off. Most of the family already think I'm sort of an oddball. If I were to actually act like myself in front of them and stop trying to quell my... tendencies, well, they would be shocked, I think. And that's why I'm kind of stuck being quiet and reclusive. So forgive me. It's nothing against you, really. It's just hard for me to open up. I also had the shrimp, but I guess I wasn't up for it or something. Finally, we discussed how I used to have a butt. Apparently I killed it? Mom urged me to eat more. This is not news.

Mom drove Death Route 80 home. It was her first time, so she was freaking out. Narrow as hell one lane with traffic barrels and barriers everywhere. We stopped for Tropical Sno (girl and I eyed eachother - she dyed her hair, but not a stupid color... Brown, like I did! Good old brown) and here I am, and I am so so tired, so I think I'm gonna brush my teef (AWWWW) and go to sleep, so if you have something to say, say it fast.