06/30/2003 - 10:07 p.m. | don't even read this one

Man, so not up for writing right now. Seems like I haven't stopped all night. Oh, well. No rest for the stupidly verbose. Here, have a quote while I warm up:

billehcee: someone found the stick it sight because the googled "nate walsh"
mrkrazy 11: Ooh, an admirer
billehcee: or maybe someone else named nate walsh
mrkrazy 11: >:o ADMIRER

Everyone pisses on my parade. And then it smells like urine. So, where was I? Yes, the weekend. Shit. Saturday morning, wake up, watch idiotic TV until Kyle calls. We make vague plans to meet halfway along 80 or something. Get ready, buy donuts and Arizona Tea (which I've been in want of for quite some time), head to Joliet. We arrive pretty early, so we arrange a meeting place and then look around for a store to kill some time in. We end up in "Unique Thrift," and that it was. Actually, pretty standard. No time to buy anything, though, because Kyle called and we had to go meet them. Said bye to Mom and then we headed out in Kyle's awesome new Corolla S (Corollas for future reference)... to go get coffee. That done, we headed up the slow death path that is 55 to 294. Still, we had pocky and music and I had some FRIENDS around for once, so I wasn't bored (can't speak for the others). This isn't gonna be a good entry, but so what? I hate you.

Arrived in Long Lake (woo woo) at around 2. Did a little thrifting, and I finally - FINALLY - found a purse that is almost not too much like a purse that I can call it a satchel and use it. Or just get fucking beat up all the time. Either way. It says "FUNKY CHUNK" on it. Manly, you shit. Then I had to stop swearing because we were picking up Brytne's little sister from the bowling alley. Like all children, she developed an instant love-hate relationship with me. This is because I put up with most everything. Call me weak, I call me tolerant. And weak.

Arrived at the Winfrey residence and met the rest of the family. Well, I knew her mom and dad, but they seemed a little frazzled with the prospect of the upcoming shindig. And her two brothers. Sean, the nudist, who attacks Kyle and does good animal impressions, and Phillip, the ass, who makes fun of my laugh which I am already damn vulnerable about :( :( :( HYUCK Also, Spike the dog who has an apparent fascination with my testicles (his missing and all). Now, I don't typically have dog problems. If they come up and are nice, I'll pet them and things are good. When they maul my crotch or sneak up behind me on their hind legs, we don't get along as well.

Almost immediately upon arrival, we were all absorbed into the Winfrey clan so as to help them get ready for the party. We did some manly shit, I think. Built a fence around the tomatoes out of smaller fences. Jeez, that's practically my profession. Sometimes I am good for something. And then we all shoveled this big pile of dirt into wheelbarrows and tried to move them around. In the rain (that seemed to only follow us)! And we moved big piles of siding. And the next day, we filled a kiddie pool. OK, that's less impressive. Also helped to set up a very precarious badminton net. You know that scene in Final Destination where the kid gets killed by the badminton net? Yeah, it's like that.

Went out and got pizza from the creatively-titled "Pizza Place." Can't complain, though, because it was good. BORING BORING BORING START BEING FUNNY NATE NO I AM NOT WILLING TO DO THAT And then we went to get candy and a movie and Kyle broke a bottle of iced tea and NO ONE CARES NATE GET THE HELL ON WITH IT We got Big Trouble (you know? based on the book by Dave Barry) but Tim Allen couldn't stand to have mere wit in his movies. "More slapstick!" he cried. "More - NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STUPID OPINION It was still entertaining, though.

Everyone went to bed shortly thereafter. Kyle and I shared a bed in the dog's room. Now, by this point, we knew he wanted to eat our testicles, and he knew we knew. So it was sort of a standoff. Brytne made us let him sleep in there with us, but the dog doesn't sleep! We just heard him rattle around, sharpening his knife or whatever. Finally, we screamed for Brytne to get him out. We thought that might be OK, but you know how velociraptors could open doors in Jurassic Park? Yeah, they didn't want our genitals nearly as bad as this dog did. So, we still weren't resting too easy. And then Kyle had to poo. So, we sneak over to the door, crack it open, and he's right there! Staring at us! We hide for a while and then check again. Coast seems clear. Kyle runs while I try to make testicle noises to distract the dog. FLOBFLOBFLOB is my best idea. It was late, and I'm not brilliant at the top of my game. Kyle makes it back safely, and we try to relax. This is impossible, so we build a primitive alarm for the door. I missed Kyle so much.

We dozed off at some point and wrestled for control of the blanket most of the night through. Someday. I woke up at around 10 or so when activity began again. I don't think Kyle was really awake at all the whole day. He kind of stumbled around in a stupor. But yay for coffee. Stupid drugs. And muffins! And did you know tortilla chips are the perfect breakfast food? Yes. We all showered and then a new batch of chores began. I would feel weird not doing something, so I just kept asking for jobs, later earning me the nickname "worker monkey" from Brytne's mom (I don't think she knew I was listening). We were sent out into the world for supplies (and chai for meeeee) BORING AGAIN MOVE ON Got supplies, got ready for party, party begins, we avoid party as much as possible (numerous supply runs and hiding in the bedroom to open graduation cards). The end. The food was good. And we rode in a Camaro convertible with a Corvette engine, and it was really fast, and I would love to just be a passenger in one all the time LOSING THEM AGAIN Oh. Then we went home.

Listened to my music on the way home, so I assume everyone was annoyed (especially because I ALWAYS sing SHUT THE FUCK UP NATE and had lemonade slushies and didn't call home (not my idea, I must note) so my folks were freaking out and IMing Michelle for some reason, and here I am. I don't care about this entry. It gets my seal of crap. To hell with you, shitty entry. It was a fun weekend; I just don't wanna write about it SO DON'T YOU STUPID ASS Right.