04/26/2003 - 4:31 a.m. | is that your two cents worth, worth? / for what it's worth...

Lisa's angry at me. I can see why she should be, but I don't understand why she actually is. Her arguments didn't make sense as I read them. Nevertheless, I am sorry for angering you for doing the stupid things that I understand I did, and I will be sorry for the ones I don't understand once I do. Please be my friend if you like.

I'm in such a stupid mood, and it just won't go away. I'm sad, and being sad for no reason makes me angry, so then I'm just all pissed off and still sad somehow too. And everything's annoying me and seems all shallow and trite (well, at least it's not just me for once) and I'm not looking forward to the little things like I normally can. Tomorrow's plans feel like they should be lying in bed and moping. I don't even know about what. It's like I don't even want to enjoy life right now. Suck. This is the worst I've been in a long, long time. The funk I'm in just won't go away, and it's been so long. I need to be alone. Like, I really do. And I keep not letting myself do it for whatever dumb reasons I have.

Walking is the only thing that makes me okay for a little. On the way to or from some place, it doesn't seem so bad, so warm or tepid or whatever. But once I reach my destination, it's the same old stuff. Need to be like a pinball or something. I should go out for a walk now, but honestly, I am tired.

We watched Cube tonight. Fucking cube.