03/31/2003 - 3:34 p.m. | not chain smoking yet

I was up until 4 again today. But I was attempting math. And half watching Dank play Tony Hawk 4. Only half, though. Of course, it didn't all come together until halfway through class today (and even then, I think part of what I wrote down was vaugeries), but I tried my ass off on those damn Taylor series! Several hours, I swear! And Michelle tried her ass off on binomial hat series or whatever they're called. And then many more hours of non-math, too...... Can we help it if math is so hard?! NO. Math just kills me (and my GPA :( I hope I do well on this next test... My latest batch of like 6s and 7s on assignments ain't too keen), so it was good doing something else. Reminder: I need to carry around my video camera more. I'm just missing too much good shit. Also, our apartment is apparently made of poison because it was making everyone's eyes, nose, and throats die or something. I am immune. I breathe galvanized steel wire shaving. I am such a man.

Today was a good day, though. Math I did the doings, Entomology I wrote the notes (although big American test on Wednesday, OK? boom boom boom), and Theatre... well, Kyle and I held hands until Overacting Boy noticed. Then Kyle called me a fag and I called him a queer and yelled how much I needed some pussy. We are cool. We also had to look at this scene about black people and pick actors who could play it. We picked Mr. T and Gary Coleman. We are ignorant.

Then - big happy sooprize - we went to Wendy's for lunch... Dank, Spritz, Kyle, and myself!! And then Kyle and I had an adventure wherein his Maxima's features seemed like grievous problems with the car. Like, we went to get gas, and we kept the windows down, and then when we unlocked the doors and got in, it wouldn't start. This happens to be some crazy security feature, but we didn't know that. And then we went to the Post Office, and the back windows wouldn't roll up because they were locked... even though Kyle unlocked them. Nevermind. It's not very funny. Is it weird that I keep finding my socks in the garbage can? I remember throwing some of them in, but certainly not this vast amount. Hmm.

Then, went to my little mental health shindig. My doctor lady person was very nice, and I was in fairly good form, so I could talk about my problems without sounding like an ass. I took some anxiety test. 50 - 60 is like extreme psycho anixety. I'm a 48. Huh. So, if possible, I'd take this anxiety workshop, but it's not 'til next fall now, and I can't stand another 6 months as me... so I'm gettin' drizzugs! I dunno - she said they worked a lot, and it'd be nice to try something. Guess we'll see how it goes. Fuck "taking the easy way out" or whatever. I tried self-improvement for 5 years (that's about how long I've been like this), and it just didn't work. I think it was good that I did this shit, and if you have similar problems, you should give it a shot too.

OK - I'm going to read now, and I'm really looking forward to it :)