10/16/2002 - 4:00 p.m. | a giant clit

So, let me ask you a personal question: What's wrong with me? No one ever sits next to me in class. It's really strange... Like, I always make it a priority not to smell, and I know I'm not great looking, but often times people choose to sit by people I know are grosser than me. Do I seem cold or pissy or something? It's really weird. It's like I've got badass cred (well, more than Vanilla Ice) "Watch out, it's fucking NATE!"

Anyway, I love the little chiclets in gumball machines... except that they last all of 5 minutes. I need a big sack of them I can just constantly grab from.

You know how at zoos and shitty carnivals, they have those displays with pictures of animals or people on them and the head is cut out so you can stick your head through and look ridiculous? Yeah, so I was walking past the Union, and I saw one of these with a giant vagina on it. The hole where you stick your head through is where the clit is supposed to be. This was just amazing to me, the opportunity to be a giant clit. Again, wish I had a camera. And of course, if it wasn't really a vagina, Mr. Frued would have a field day.